Mencius 5B.3

Wan Chang asked Mencius, saying, 'I venture to ask the principles of friendship.'

Mencius replied, 'Friendship should be maintained without any presumption on the ground of one's superior age, or station, or the circumstances of his relatives. Friendship with a man is friendship with his virtue, and does not admit of assumptions of superiority. There was Meng Xian, chief of a family of a hundred chariots. He had five friends, namely, Yue Zheng Qiu, Mu Zhong, and three others whose names I have forgotten. With those five men Xian maintained a friendship, because they thought nothing about his family. If they had thought about his family, he would not have maintained his friendship with them. Not only has the chief of a family of a hundred chariots acted thus. The same thing was exemplified by the sovereign of a small State. The duke Hui of Bi said, "I treat Zi Si as my Teacher, and Yan Ban as my Friend. As to Wang Shun and Chang Xi, they serve me." Not only has the sovereign of a small State acted thus. The same thing has been exemplified by the sovereign of a large State. There was the duke Ping of Jin with Hai Tang - when Tang told him to come into his house, he came; when he told him to be seated, he sat; when he told him to eat, he ate. There might only be coarse rice and soup of vegetables, but he always ate his fill, not daring to do otherwise. Here, however, he stopped, and went no farther. He did not call him to share any of Heaven's places, or to govern any of Heaven's offices, or to partake of any of Heaven's emoluments. His conduct was but a scholar's honouring virtue and talents, not the honouring them proper to a king or a duke. Shun went up to court and saw the sovereign, who lodged him as his son-in-law in the second palace. The sovereign also enjoyed there Shun's hospitality. Alternately he was host and guest. Here was the sovereign maintaining friendship with a private man. Respect shown by inferiors to superiors is called giving to the noble the observance due to rank. Respect shown by superiors to inferiors is called giving honour to talents and virtue. The rightness in each case is the same.'